Tag: Uncertainty

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Let There Be Light…the End

Psalms 97:11
Light shines on the righteous and joy on the upright in heart.

So I began this journey talking about PTSD, anxiety, and depression. I then moved on to my seizures and two wonderful pups that were placed in my life. How do I connect all of this together? That is easy, God!

Only one of my seizure ever came back as epileptic. For many years, I was told my seizure activity was made up. The official term was pseudo-seizures. I had several doctors who truly made me feel like I was making it all up for attention. It wasn’t really their fault. Little was known about seizures at the time.

A few years ago, some new studies came out that linked pseudo-seizures with stress levels much in the same way they link migraines. As a matter of fact, I also suffer from migraines and my doctor said very often instead of coming out as a headache, sometimes my migraines were coming out as seizures.

These stressors can come in many different packages. I have environmental ones like certain foods I am allergic to as well as seasonal allergies. My body getting run down because of being sick or lack of sleep can become a trigger. Then there is the biggest one of all, life!

Annie was very good at noticing when I was getting stressed. She would often walk up to me and get me to pet her to take my mind off things. It was very calming and I can’t tell you how many seizures she helped me avoid by just calming me down. However, when those really difficult moments came and my PTSD kicked in I would get lost in the darkness. Even Annie struggled with how to bring me back.

I don’t know if it was because of the life he endured or if God just decided to equip him with a little extra light, but Meshach knows exactly what to do. Meshach runs to my side when he feels those anxieties creeping up inside me. When I am so frightened, reliving each and every moment of torment, he doesn’t let me walk alone. He cuddles me. He licks me. He simply stays right by my side and never takes his eyes off me. Just like when we first met.

God sends him to light the path for me. He is there to let me know I am not alone and we will get through this together. In the military, it is often referred to as “he’s got my six.” The really cool thing is I have his too. There are times when he leans into me when we are in a big crowd. I reach down, place my hand on his head and he looks up at me with those big brown eyes and I remind him, we are in this together. He lets out a slow breath, stands a little taller and we go on.

I don’t know what the future holds, but I know who holds my future. Right now God has chosen to show me his love and light through four big paws and a very wet nose.

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Copyright © 2017 Tabetha Frick All Rights Reserved.

 

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Let There Be Light Part 3

Job 22:28
What you decide on will be done, and light will shine on your ways.

We met at a shelter.

When he escaped the man who was trying to put him back in his cage and came and sat in front of me, I knew we had a destiny. I heard several different variations of his back story.  None of them were very nice.  All of them ended with him being at the shelter nearly starved to death at only 4 months old.  He was now 7 months old, very sweet, but he was very timid and didn’t trust people.  As a matter of fact, everyone was just as shocked as I that he came up and just sat in front of me the way he did.

The nice young man came and got him, apologizing to me.  He gently pushed the puppy into his cage and shut the door.  I walked past and then back again.  It was like watching one of those paintings that seem to follow you everywhere.  He would not take his big brown eyes off of me.

My husband thought I was joking and tried walking by to see if he would look at him instead.  All the little pup did was turn his head to try and view around my husband to get another look at me. I was his world and the exact person he had been waiting for.

We got him back out and played with him for a while.  We even took him out to romp in the yard.  He took me to all his favorite spots, stopping every few steps to make sure I was following him.  He brought me various toys and responded with sits and waiting patiently as I looked over each gift.

I left him at the shelter that day because we had several other dogs to look at but I have to say I felt just like him.  With every dog we went to see, I would look around them to see the vision I still had of that cute little boy etched in my mind.

I spent the next morning going over the three dogs we had narrowed it down to.  I explained each one to my mom as we went for our daily walk.  I didn’t realize it at the time, but I really wasn’t giving her much detail about the other two.  As a matter of fact, I would make a comment about them and then say something to compare them to that cute little boy.

I remember my mom looking at me when I was done and saying, “I think you made up your mind and will be heading back to the shelter when we are done here.”  Did I ever tell you my mom is a very wise woman?

I took the paperwork and called my husband on the way to the shelter to let him know I was going to pick the puppy up.  When I got there everything fell into place like God himself had already laid out every step and was shining his light on the path.

What normally takes a couple of days to get approved, took me a couple of hours.  When they brought him out he sat across the room and smiled at me and wagged his tail in delight but he would not come to me at first.  I called him by his name they had given him but he stayed put.

Once again the Holy Spirit intervened with a loving but well-placed thump to my head.  He lovingly reminded me how we always said if we ever got a boy dog we would name him Meshach. So, I looked into his big brown eyes across the waiting room and smiled and said, “Hi, Meshach!”  He broke free from his handler and ran top speed right into my arms.

So about now I am guessing you are wondering about the seizures.  Well, if you remember I had been walking with my mom that morning and we had put in six miles.  I had not eaten much for breakfast and it was now nearly one in the afternoon.  Needless to say, my sugar levels were dropping.

I was sitting on the floor in a little room with Meshach while they finalized the paperwork.  He was entertaining himself by watching the kittens through the glass.  He stopped all of a sudden and walked over to me and put his paws on my shoulders and went nose to nose with me.  I started to shake all over and he just sat on top of me and started licking my face.  Once again God had equipped a dog with the power to know when my seizures were coming and how to best handle me.

What I didn’t know was God had equipped him with so much more!

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Come back tomorrow to read more of our story!
Copyright © 2017 Tabetha Frick All Rights Reserved.

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Let There Be Light Part 2

Psalms 67: 1 & 2
May God be gracious to us and bless us and make his face shine upon us, that your ways may be known on earth, your salvation among all nations.

This was not my first service dog. As a matter fact, my first answer to prayer had come eleven years before. Let me back up a little.

It was September of 2006. I had spent the last thirteen years going from doctor to doctor and trying a long list of medicines to control my seizures. Nothing was working and I had enough. I gave up all meds and decided to try a totally different avenue.

After lots of research and prayer, I chose to seek out the assistance of a service dog. My doctor at the time refused to sign off for me to get one from a company who trained seizure response dogs. As a matter of fact, he didn’t believe in them and told me he thought it was a bunch of “Hooey” and yes that was his professional opinion!

With the help of the company and lots of lessons from other sources, I learned how to train service dogs. So, we went on a search for the perfect dog. We called it operation Annie. My mother-in-law’s best friend had passed away and she was all about children and animals. I wanted to honor her memory.

My husband and I walked into a local shelter to just take a look. I remember I was on the phone with a friend walking around when my husband stopped in front of me. I heard him laughing. He had tried to walk by a cage and a cute little puppy reached out and grabbed him and wouldn’t let go.

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We escorted the little bundle of brown fur to a play area. She was all over my husband and would have nothing to do with me. I thought there was no way this dog was going to make a good service dog for me. However, my husband was in love and there was no telling him no.

So as he went to sign the papers and pay, I was left sitting in a little fenced in area. It was a showdown. We stared at each other. I hated the name they had given her. I sat there trying to decide what name we should give her. I swear I felt the Holy Spirit hit me upside the back of the head and say, “I don’t know what about Annie!” I felt like an idiot, but I looked at her and said, “Hi, Annie.” She leaped across the space between us and fell into my lap giving me the facial of all facials. That was just the beginning of many miracles yet to come.

Within the first week of owning this 6-week old chocolate lab/German pointer mix, she alerted to two seizures. Now let me explain something to you. You cannot train a dog to alert to a seizure. It is a rare thing for them to be able to pick up on them ahead of time. When you train a dog, you simply train them to respond once you start having one. This little thing dug her heels and would not walk another step, turned and jumped up on me before I had a seizure. I can only explain this with one word, God!

Over the next ten years, she served me well. She not only would give me a 15 to 30 minutes heads up, but she also learned how to make me start breathing again. It happened when she was quite small. She watched my mother push in on my diaphragm when I quit breathing during a seizure. The next time it happened she jumped on me trying to push in the same spot. When she realized it wasn’t working, she got frustrated and she bit me. It shocked me right out of it and I began to breathe again. Again, I can only sum this up as God!

Annie was a blessing to so many people. God truly shined his light through her everywhere she went.  She worked with kids with emotional issues as a therapy dog. She alerted to not only my seizures but also a student of mine’s, a substitute teacher’s I worked with and my son’s. She helped educate our community about service dogs and spent many hours in hospitals and nursing homes comforting people.

In 2015, Annie became very ill. When she finally bounced back she wasn’t the same dog. Her ‘get up and go’ was a little slower, her tail wagged a little less and she began to bump into things. Annie was going blind. We both knew it was time to find a replacement, but how was I ever going to replace her. The love of my life. The saver of my life many times over.

It would take lots of prayers, lots of dogs and seven months of searching. To paraphrase Bogart in Casablanca, “Of all the shelters in all the towns, in all the world, I walked into his.”

Come back tomorrow for more of my story.

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Copyright © 2017 Tabetha Frick All Rights Reserved.

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Let There Be Light Part​ 1

Genesis 1:3
Let there be light. 

John 8:12
I am the light of the world.

How do you explain PTSD, anxiety, or depression to someone who has never been there?

How do you tell someone watching their loved one suffer that they cannot help or make it go away?  It isn’t their fault.  They did nothing wrong. Don’t take it personally. Their loved one is fighting their demons and they just got caught in the crossfire.

How do you tell someone if I could get out of bed, or off this couch, I would?  If I could quit crying, I would.  If I could stop flying off the handle, I would.  If I could. I would.

No. I didn’t choose to be this way today.  No. I haven’t gotten up on the wrong side of the bed.  No. I am not just feeling a little blue.  No. It isn’t just that time of the month. No. I am not angry at you.

How do I explain how I fee? I feel like I am trying to sweep a dirt floor in the middle of a hurricane.  I can hear everyone around me trying to explain it is a dirt floor.  I know the more I sweep the more dirt I will find.  I hear you scream out, “Why in the heck are you doing this?” while the wind whips around me depositing even more dirt.  But. I. Still. Sweep. And sweep.  And sweep.  I can’t stop.  The broom keeps moving and my hands are glued to it.  I can’t even look up to take a breath.  I. Must. Sweep.

There are no remedies to these problems.  There are no cure-alls.  There is just coping.  Getting through.  Today I would like to let you in on a few of my getting throughs.

Please let me start by explaining there are many medications that can help with the chemical imbalances that occur with PTSD, anxiety, and depression.  My body just doesn’t play well with any of them.  For those they work for, Praise God!  I am so excited for you. I have family and friends who find help in this area.

When I finally figured out meds were not for me, I reached out to others.  I prayed so hard for God to just take it all away. He chose to send me some help instead.  He put people in my life who understood.  People I could turn to in the darkness, who would hold my hand and walk with me. They became lights in my darkness.

I appreciate those people more than they will ever know or understand.  I know I can text and call them at the drop of a hat and they are there. But I didn’t want to always be dependent on them.  That is when God stepped in and said, “Let there be light!”

My light came in the form of four big paws and a very wet nose.  He, like me, ​had gone through some very unpleasant things in his life and was looking for just the right person to love him.

To learn more of my story come back tomorrow.
Copyright © 2017 Tabetha Frick All Rights Reserved.

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I am confident that I have no confidence! Or, do I?​

Judges 6: 12, 14 & 15

12When the angel of the Lord appeared to Gideon, he said, “The Lord is with you, mighty warrior.”

14The Lord turned to him and said, “Go in the strength you have and save Israel out of Midian’s hand. Am I not sending you?”

15“Pardon me, my lord,” Gideon replied, “but how can I save Israel? My clan is the weakest in Manasseh, and I am the least in my family.”

I have confidence in sunshine,
I have confidence in rain.
I have confidence that spring will come again!
Besides what you see I have confidence in not me.

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For those of you Sound of Music fans who were singing along above, I apologize for the word change.  But I have to tell you confidence is not a close friend of mine.  I am so glad the bible is filled with not-so-confident characters to help me not feel alone.

One of my favorite Bible stories, when I was little, was about a man who had very little confidence.  As a matter of fact from the world’s point of view, he really didn’t have much to be confident of according to the bible.  This man described himself like this, “Look at me. My clan’s the weakest in Manasseh and I’m the runt of the litter.”

You can read the whole story in Judges chapters 6 through 8.  But for now, let me give you a little taste.

The Israelites had messed up yet again and turned back to doing evil in God’s sight.  So, he turned them over to Midianites who were very cruel to them.  They would march into their land and destroy everything. So the Israelites made hideouts in the caves of the surrounding mountains.   After being reduced to grinding poverty they finally cried out to God for help.

So, who does God send but Gideon the man of the weakest clan and the runt of the litter!  As a matter of fact, poor Gideon has such little confidence about anything he asked God for signs just to make sure he was hearing him correctly.

Oh, and to add insult to injury. Gideon was just finally finding a little confidence and sure that he was supposed to go out and defeat those guys who eat nuts and bolts and drank motor oil for breakfast. God gave him stepped up and gave him the next part of his plan.  Gideon my man you are getting an army of just 300 men to fight along side you!  Oh, and by the way, for your weapons of choice you will get a torch, jar, and trumpet.

Yes, you read that correctly!  God not only chose what the world deemed as a wimp, but he gave him just 300 men to go fight a huge army of elite fighting machines with just a torch, jar, and trumpet.  Now doesn’t that just scream confidence builder! Personally, I think I just would have screamed.

Insert Tabetha now.  I lack confidence in my abilities all the time.  I am not confident about being a wife and mother.  I am so not confident in my writing or teaching.  I am so not confident in standing up in front of people and speaking.  Let me let you in on a little secret.  Confidence does not mean lack of fear. Confidence means you go through with the plan in spite of the fear.

Much like Sister Maria, Gideon had lots of concerns, questions, and fears, but he marched on.  He took those three hundred men and defeated that army of ninjas, without lifting a sword

So you see it is OK to have questions, concerns and even fears because…

Strength doesn’t lie in numbers.
Strength doesn’t lie in wealth,
Strength lies in nights of peaceful slumbers,
When you wake up, wake up! 
It’s healthy!
All I trust I leave my heart to,
All I trust becomes my own!
I have confidence in confidence alone.
Besides, which you see, I have confidence in me! 
(I Have Confidence by Richard Rodgers)
Copyright © 2017 Tabetha Frick All Rights Reserved.

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Yes, I would like a venti non-fat double shot strength peace-filled mocha latte, ​please.

Psalms 29:11 (NIV)

The Lord gives strength to his people, the Lord blesses his people with peace.

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Have you ever wished God was like Starbucks?  You know you walk up to the counter or drive up to the little speaker and you say,

“Yes, I would like a venti non-fat double shot strength peace-filled mocha latte please.”

I just want to see a menu of the fruits of the spirit and pray for a shot of this with extra that, all piled high with whip cream!

Yep, I so wish I could do that some days.  However, God seems to think I just need my daily portion and that will suffice.  I know.  He is right.  I also know there are many times he is standing there waiting to give me my portion and I don’t take it.  Or maybe you have been in a place where you have taken it but just not used it.

I am afraid it is time to sit down and have the hard talk now.  So, grab your cup of coffee, relax and take a deep breath.

Let’s start with the obvious.  We all know in our hearts, God is enough.  God gives us what we need when we need it.  I think we can all admit to having enough faith to believe that statement.  Our struggle, or at least my struggle is in the delivery.

I have always had faith God can do anything.  My faith starts being strained when you tie in the “will he” and “when will he” portions.

Over the years, I have really worked on both of these concepts.  It has been hard because there are so many times in our lives we pray for something and God doesn’t answer the way we want.  Now notice those last four words, “the way we want.”  All too often we go to God with a prayer and a plan. Then when God doesn’t follow the plan, we accuse him of not answering the prayer.  When in fact he is answering the prayer just with his plan.  Sometimes those plans include answers in the form of “no” and “not yet.”

Gulp. Breath. Ponder for a minute.

I can’t tell you why God is telling you no or to wait awhile.  I can only tell you he has your best interest at heart.  The situation you are going through today may be unimaginable.  I am thinking of a dear one who recently miscarried. Why would God put someone through all of that?  Why would his answer to bringing a new baby into a warm and loving family, be no or wait?  Why is the woman who can’t get pregnant at all hearing God say no or wait?  Why did that lady who never wanted a child and now wants an abortion to get pregnant in the first place?

I wish with every fiber of my being I could tell you why God does things.  But I can’t. I am not him.

I can tell you one thing though.  God is ALWAYS standing at the door waiting to give you his strength and blessing you with peace.  That is never a “no” or “wait” answer.  As a matter of fact, he is standing on his very tip toes, yelling out as loud as he can, “I am here! Just ask me!  I so want to give you strength and peace!  Ask me! Then take it and use it!”

Do you feel like you are in the pits today?  Do you feel the sorrow is so deep you don’t think you will ever get out?  Are you crying out for just a little of that strength and peace? I would love to pray for you.  You don’t have to tell me what you are going through.  You can leave a comment that just says pray, please.

In the mean time, may I leave you with this…

Lord, you have promised to give your people strength and to bless them with peace.  So, right now I am asking that you deliver on this promise and touch each of us with the strength and peace to carry on through our struggles today, tomorrow and forever to come.  I pray that we learn to cling to that strength and peace even on the days when it seems to take all of it just to take one more breath or one more step.  I will trust that it will be there again when I take the next ones and then again and again. I ask all of this in the name of Jesus. Amen


Copyright © 2017 Tabetha Frick All Rights Reserved.

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Deeply Distressed and Troubled

Mark 14:12 (NIV)

“Abba, Father,” he said, “everything is possible for you.  Take this cup from me.  Yet not what I will, but what you will.”

Do you hear that?  Yep, it is my knees knocking AGAIN!  I have been in the education field for going on 18 years.  However, when I have to stand up in front of a group of people I still get the proverbial butterflies (seems more like bats) in my tummy.  My hands get all sweaty, my stomach turns, my heart races and then there is the shaking all over.

Have you ever been there?  Do you ever get a case of the nerves?  Maybe it isn’t public speaking that makes you want to run.  Maybe there is something else that can rock your world in a matter of 2.2 seconds.  Whatever it is, I want you to know…it is normal!  You are not going to die of a heart attack, you probably won’t even throw up or faint or anything. Hmmm, maybe I shouldn’t promise the last two, although I did say probably;0)

Can I tell you a little secret?  Did you know that Jesus got a case of the nerves? No, really!  It says right in Mark 14:33-34.

He (Jesus) took Peter, James, and John along with him, and he began to be deeply distressed and troubled. “My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death,” he said to them. “Stay here and keep watch (NIV).

If that doesn’t sound like a case of the nerves, I don’t know what does. Jesus knew his time was coming to an end.  He knew what he was going to face next.

Now, I realize what he was about to face: his betrayal, arrest, conviction, punishment, and death would certainly make anyone deeply distressed and troubled.  What I want you to realize is he didn’t stay that way.  He knew exactly where to turn.

“Abba, Father,” he said, “everything is possible for you. Take this cup from me. Yet not what I will, but what you will” Mark 14:12 (NIV).

When Jesus was deeply distressed and troubled he turned to the one person that he knew would pull him through, his Father, God!

I want to challenge you today.  No matter what impossible nerve racking, knee knocking deeply distressed and troubled problem you are facing, turn to the one who will walk you through it.

Cast your cares on the LORD and he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous be shaken. Psalms 55:22 (NIV)


Copyright © 2017 Tabetha Frick All Rights Reserved.

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Action Verbs for Anxiety

Psalms 27:14 (NASB)

Wait for the Lord;
Be strong and let your heart take courage;
Yes, wait for the Lord.

Have you ever been fidgety? You know when you are worried about something and you mumble (or scream) those famous words, “Well, I can’t just sit here and do nothing!” When that phrase reaches your mind and you know there is nothing you can do, take heart. You can take action. You should take action. You should:

Wait for the Lord;
Be strong and let your heart take courage;
Yes, wait for the Lord.

Wait-Be-Let-Take-Wait
These are action verbs. These are the actions you need to do when you are feeling anxious. This is what you have control over. This is doing your part.

I know it isn’t easy and I wish I could say, I am perfect and this works for me every time so you can do it too! But, I’m not an infomercial and this isn’t easy. Although if you do it, God promises it will work every time. You may not like the length of time it takes. Heck you may not even like the answer you get. However,God will reward you with what you need an He always sends His best for you.

So the next time you can’t stand it any longer. Please remember to take action.

Wait for the Lord;
Be strong and let your heart take courage;
Yes, wait for the Lord.