But I Don’t Wanna!

Colossians 3:23
Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters.

But I don’t wanna do that!

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How many times have you heard someone say something similar? If you have kids, I can guarantee you have heard it at least ten times today. As a teacher, I can tell you I can multiply that number by thirty and some days even more.

How many times have you caught yourself saying or thinking I don’t want to do that? Hmmm…yeah for me probably ten times a day again might just be accurate.

I really hate it when I get stuck in one of those moods where I start thinking negatively about everything. I mean I get pretty darn close to a full on temper tantrum. Reality check, some days it isn’t close. Some days I go straight to the temper tantrum.

Recently I was having one of those days when I stumbled upon Colossians 3:23, “Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters.”

Talk about OUCH!

Once the burn started to subside, I realized there were lots of things in life I didn’t necessarily want to do. There are times when doing said things are very inconvenient. Sorry, I will never enjoy doing laundry, dishes or cleaning a bathroom. Some days I really want to stay in my pj’s and not go to work. Somedays I just don’t want to adult anymore!

It is in those times, I have to remember it isn’t all about me. Someone has to get these things done. I really enjoy pleasing the Lord. So, when I get my focus off of me and onto him, it does make the task doable.

I won’t lie. They still are not things that make me happy. However, I can concentrate on trying to make God smile.

Besides, I am definitely happy when they are done!

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Copyright © 2017 Tabetha Frick All Rights Reserved.

Blinded by the Key Hole

Deuteronomy 31:6

Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.

I love the movie, Dr. Strange! Every time I watch it I find more and more little words of wisdom. One of my favorite quotes comes when the Ancient One is trying to explain to Dr. Strange there is a bigger picture going on and he is stuck on the little things. She tells him, “You’re a man looking through a key hole trying to widen the key hole.”

Like Dr. Strange, I have a tendency to get stuck on the here and now. I am so consumed by my day-to-day challenges, I forget there is a bigger plan at work.

The Israelites needed to be reminded also. Moses was not allowed to cross over to the promised land, but he gave them a pep talk before turning them over to Joshua. He told them all to “Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you”(Deuteronomy 31:6).

They had been through a lot. They had been brought out of Egypt, chased down by armies. They had fought in several battles. They had traveled many miles for many years. Oh, yeah, did I mention that some people had seen this land and came back and said it was inhabited by giants? Great! Came all this way and now there are GIANTS! What else could go wrong?

You see while they were looking through the key hole, God was trying to show them the entire picture. He wanted them to remember He had been with them every step of the way and He was going to continue being with them. That was all they needed to see.

When I am looking through the key hole of my life I am concentrating on the here and now. I get wrapped up in my life and can get consumed by my difficulties. I need to step back and realize there is an entire world on the other side of that door and I will not be able to see it by trying to widen the key hole. Instead, I need to be courageous and go through. God has always been with me and he always will.
Copyright © 2017 Tabetha Frick All Rights Reserved.

Light My Way

Psalms 119:105
Your word is a lamp for my feet, a light on my path.

“Father God,

I thank you for the light of Your Word. Let Your Word be what I run to and cling to when I find myself lost, drifting, and compromising with the ideas of the world. Help me to remain on the lighted path that You have laid out before me. Allow me to be a light to others who need you as well.”

These are the words I read today during my devotion time. They hit me very hard. This past summer I had been praying so hard for God to intervene so I would not have to return to my teaching position. I wanted so badly to stay at home and write for a living and finish my dissertation. My answer was no.

God has a path for me to travel. He lit that path very brightly and it took me right back to my job for now.

So, I turned to my bible again and prayer and looked for everything I could find about calming the child or calming the storm. I found so many verses about God having plans for us (Jeremiah 29:11) and continuing to ​perfect and complete the good work he has started in us (Philippians 1:6). I even found a new favorite about trusting the Lord and leaning not on my own understanding (Proverbs 3:5).

I prayed for the Lord to help me continue down his path. I promised to follow his light. You know what? God intervened! No, ​I did not get to quit my job, but I found myself not minding. As a matter of fact, the first few days were very enjoyable. There was a new spring in my step.

I am not naive. I know there will be days to come that I will still struggle. However, I know on whom I can depend to get me through. I know if I just keep looking toward the light and picking up my lamp I will find the right path.

Copyright © 2017 Tabetha Frick All Rights Reserved.

Go With The Flow

Proverbs 4:23
Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.

Did you ever notice just how busy we really are all the time?

Let’s be real here.  We are all extremely busy people. I am not sure we even know how to slow down.  Even our vacations seem to get packed with must see’s or must do’s let alone everything it takes to get ready for a vacation. Oh, and don’t forget all the stuff waiting for us when we get back.

Recently, my husband and I went up to Wisconsin for my in-laws 50th wedding anniversary.  It was a weekend getaway.  Easy right?  One would think so.  Just grab a few things and get out of the house.  However, when I got home from work Friday night I still needed to pack and my work schedule that day seemed overwhelming.  So, I felt frantic.

When I walked in the door I was met with a frantic husband.  He had been home that day making sure the house was cleaned up and animals all taken care of for our house sitter.  Only thing was life had gotten in the way of all of his plans as well.  So, meet Mr. & Mrs. Frantic.

I should mention right now that we decided to take our not quite two-year-old granddaughter with us.  This was her first five-hour road trip. No one was quite sure what to expect.  I certainly didn’t expect to learn a very valuable lesson from her.

God tells us clearly to guard our hearts because everything flows from it.  Getting tired and overwhelmed is not good for our flow. When we don’t learn to recharge our bodies and our minds that nice quiet flow can turn into raging rapids.

You could say my husband and I were trapped in one of those raging rapids by the time we hit the road. Then, I saw my granddaughter.

During our trip, she laughed, pointed out the cows, the windmills and waved hi at everyone who passed. She played with her toes and sang her ABC’s. Then every once in a while she would yell Mawmaw! Mawmaw! To jibber jabber about something that caught her attention.  She was taking the time to enjoy the ride.

Five hours later, we pulled into our hotel. My husband and I were exhausted but she continued to smile.  We got to our hallway and ran into cousins she had never even met and she began sharing her cookies and laughing with them all.  After a long ride, she played hostess and made sure everyone got some love.

We walked into the room and she ran to one of the beds laying claim by putting baby and blanket promptly on top. I got her and I ready for bed and she climbed in, turned around, and flopped in the middle of all the pillows. She pulled the fluffy comforter up to her chin. She snuggled deep down and let out a great big mmmmmmmm!

My little baby bop didn’t let life dampen her adventure. She didn’t let five hours trapped in a car seat get her upset.  She didn’t hesitate to share love and joy with everyone around her. And at the end of the day, she sank in and let herself get swallowed up in the comfort of a great big fluffy bed. Without realizing it she was guarding her heart and love was flowing out.

For the rest of the trip, my husband and I took the time to just go with the flow. It is amazing the new tricks a not quite two-year-old can teach these two old dogs!

Copyright © 2017 Tabetha Frick All Rights Reserved.

Let There Be Light…the End

Psalms 97:11
Light shines on the righteous and joy on the upright in heart.

So I began this journey talking about PTSD, anxiety, and depression. I then moved on to my seizures and two wonderful pups that were placed in my life. How do I connect all of this together? That is easy, God!

Only one of my seizure ever came back as epileptic. For many years, I was told my seizure activity was made up. The official term was pseudo-seizures. I had several doctors who truly made me feel like I was making it all up for attention. It wasn’t really their fault. Little was known about seizures at the time.

A few years ago, some new studies came out that linked pseudo-seizures with stress levels much in the same way they link migraines. As a matter of fact, I also suffer from migraines and my doctor said very often instead of coming out as a headache, sometimes my migraines were coming out as seizures.

These stressors can come in many different packages. I have environmental ones like certain foods I am allergic to as well as seasonal allergies. My body getting run down because of being sick or lack of sleep can become a trigger. Then there is the biggest one of all, life!

Annie was very good at noticing when I was getting stressed. She would often walk up to me and get me to pet her to take my mind off things. It was very calming and I can’t tell you how many seizures she helped me avoid by just calming me down. However, when those really difficult moments came and my PTSD kicked in I would get lost in the darkness. Even Annie struggled with how to bring me back.

I don’t know if it was because of the life he endured or if God just decided to equip him with a little extra light, but Meshach knows exactly what to do. Meshach runs to my side when he feels those anxieties creeping up inside me. When I am so frightened, reliving each and every moment of torment, he doesn’t let me walk alone. He cuddles me. He licks me. He simply stays right by my side and never takes his eyes off me. Just like when we first met.

God sends him to light the path for me. He is there to let me know I am not alone and we will get through this together. In the military, it is often referred to as “he’s got my six.” The really cool thing is I have his too. There are times when he leans into me when we are in a big crowd. I reach down, place my hand on his head and he looks up at me with those big brown eyes and I remind him, we are in this together. He lets out a slow breath, stands a little taller and we go on.

I don’t know what the future holds, but I know who holds my future. Right now God has chosen to show me his love and light through four big paws and a very wet nose.

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Copyright © 2017 Tabetha Frick All Rights Reserved.

 

Let There Be Light Part 3

Job 22:28
What you decide on will be done, and light will shine on your ways.

We met at a shelter.

When he escaped the man who was trying to put him back in his cage and came and sat in front of me, I knew we had a destiny. I heard several different variations of his back story.  None of them were very nice.  All of them ended with him being at the shelter nearly starved to death at only 4 months old.  He was now 7 months old, very sweet, but he was very timid and didn’t trust people.  As a matter of fact, everyone was just as shocked as I that he came up and just sat in front of me the way he did.

The nice young man came and got him, apologizing to me.  He gently pushed the puppy into his cage and shut the door.  I walked past and then back again.  It was like watching one of those paintings that seem to follow you everywhere.  He would not take his big brown eyes off of me.

My husband thought I was joking and tried walking by to see if he would look at him instead.  All the little pup did was turn his head to try and view around my husband to get another look at me. I was his world and the exact person he had been waiting for.

We got him back out and played with him for a while.  We even took him out to romp in the yard.  He took me to all his favorite spots, stopping every few steps to make sure I was following him.  He brought me various toys and responded with sits and waiting patiently as I looked over each gift.

I left him at the shelter that day because we had several other dogs to look at but I have to say I felt just like him.  With every dog we went to see, I would look around them to see the vision I still had of that cute little boy etched in my mind.

I spent the next morning going over the three dogs we had narrowed it down to.  I explained each one to my mom as we went for our daily walk.  I didn’t realize it at the time, but I really wasn’t giving her much detail about the other two.  As a matter of fact, I would make a comment about them and then say something to compare them to that cute little boy.

I remember my mom looking at me when I was done and saying, “I think you made up your mind and will be heading back to the shelter when we are done here.”  Did I ever tell you my mom is a very wise woman?

I took the paperwork and called my husband on the way to the shelter to let him know I was going to pick the puppy up.  When I got there everything fell into place like God himself had already laid out every step and was shining his light on the path.

What normally takes a couple of days to get approved, took me a couple of hours.  When they brought him out he sat across the room and smiled at me and wagged his tail in delight but he would not come to me at first.  I called him by his name they had given him but he stayed put.

Once again the Holy Spirit intervened with a loving but well-placed thump to my head.  He lovingly reminded me how we always said if we ever got a boy dog we would name him Meshach. So, I looked into his big brown eyes across the waiting room and smiled and said, “Hi, Meshach!”  He broke free from his handler and ran top speed right into my arms.

So about now I am guessing you are wondering about the seizures.  Well, if you remember I had been walking with my mom that morning and we had put in six miles.  I had not eaten much for breakfast and it was now nearly one in the afternoon.  Needless to say, my sugar levels were dropping.

I was sitting on the floor in a little room with Meshach while they finalized the paperwork.  He was entertaining himself by watching the kittens through the glass.  He stopped all of a sudden and walked over to me and put his paws on my shoulders and went nose to nose with me.  I started to shake all over and he just sat on top of me and started licking my face.  Once again God had equipped a dog with the power to know when my seizures were coming and how to best handle me.

What I didn’t know was God had equipped him with so much more!

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Come back tomorrow to read more of our story!
Copyright © 2017 Tabetha Frick All Rights Reserved.

Let There Be Light Part 2

Psalms 67: 1 & 2
May God be gracious to us and bless us and make his face shine upon us, that your ways may be known on earth, your salvation among all nations.

This was not my first service dog. As a matter fact, my first answer to prayer had come eleven years before. Let me back up a little.

It was September of 2006. I had spent the last thirteen years going from doctor to doctor and trying a long list of medicines to control my seizures. Nothing was working and I had enough. I gave up all meds and decided to try a totally different avenue.

After lots of research and prayer, I chose to seek out the assistance of a service dog. My doctor at the time refused to sign off for me to get one from a company who trained seizure response dogs. As a matter of fact, he didn’t believe in them and told me he thought it was a bunch of “Hooey” and yes that was his professional opinion!

With the help of the company and lots of lessons from other sources, I learned how to train service dogs. So, we went on a search for the perfect dog. We called it operation Annie. My mother-in-law’s best friend had passed away and she was all about children and animals. I wanted to honor her memory.

My husband and I walked into a local shelter to just take a look. I remember I was on the phone with a friend walking around when my husband stopped in front of me. I heard him laughing. He had tried to walk by a cage and a cute little puppy reached out and grabbed him and wouldn’t let go.

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We escorted the little bundle of brown fur to a play area. She was all over my husband and would have nothing to do with me. I thought there was no way this dog was going to make a good service dog for me. However, my husband was in love and there was no telling him no.

So as he went to sign the papers and pay, I was left sitting in a little fenced in area. It was a showdown. We stared at each other. I hated the name they had given her. I sat there trying to decide what name we should give her. I swear I felt the Holy Spirit hit me upside the back of the head and say, “I don’t know what about Annie!” I felt like an idiot, but I looked at her and said, “Hi, Annie.” She leaped across the space between us and fell into my lap giving me the facial of all facials. That was just the beginning of many miracles yet to come.

Within the first week of owning this 6-week old chocolate lab/German pointer mix, she alerted to two seizures. Now let me explain something to you. You cannot train a dog to alert to a seizure. It is a rare thing for them to be able to pick up on them ahead of time. When you train a dog, you simply train them to respond once you start having one. This little thing dug her heels and would not walk another step, turned and jumped up on me before I had a seizure. I can only explain this with one word, God!

Over the next ten years, she served me well. She not only would give me a 15 to 30 minutes heads up, but she also learned how to make me start breathing again. It happened when she was quite small. She watched my mother push in on my diaphragm when I quit breathing during a seizure. The next time it happened she jumped on me trying to push in the same spot. When she realized it wasn’t working, she got frustrated and she bit me. It shocked me right out of it and I began to breathe again. Again, I can only sum this up as God!

Annie was a blessing to so many people. God truly shined his light through her everywhere she went.  She worked with kids with emotional issues as a therapy dog. She alerted to not only my seizures but also a student of mine’s, a substitute teacher’s I worked with and my son’s. She helped educate our community about service dogs and spent many hours in hospitals and nursing homes comforting people.

In 2015, Annie became very ill. When she finally bounced back she wasn’t the same dog. Her ‘get up and go’ was a little slower, her tail wagged a little less and she began to bump into things. Annie was going blind. We both knew it was time to find a replacement, but how was I ever going to replace her. The love of my life. The saver of my life many times over.

It would take lots of prayers, lots of dogs and seven months of searching. To paraphrase Bogart in Casablanca, “Of all the shelters in all the towns, in all the world, I walked into his.”

Come back tomorrow for more of my story.

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Copyright © 2017 Tabetha Frick All Rights Reserved.

Let There Be Light Part​ 1

Genesis 1:3
Let there be light. 

John 8:12
I am the light of the world.

How do you explain PTSD, anxiety, or depression to someone who has never been there?

How do you tell someone watching their loved one suffer that they cannot help or make it go away?  It isn’t their fault.  They did nothing wrong. Don’t take it personally. Their loved one is fighting their demons and they just got caught in the crossfire.

How do you tell someone if I could get out of bed, or off this couch, I would?  If I could quit crying, I would.  If I could stop flying off the handle, I would.  If I could. I would.

No. I didn’t choose to be this way today.  No. I haven’t gotten up on the wrong side of the bed.  No. I am not just feeling a little blue.  No. It isn’t just that time of the month. No. I am not angry at you.

How do I explain how I fee? I feel like I am trying to sweep a dirt floor in the middle of a hurricane.  I can hear everyone around me trying to explain it is a dirt floor.  I know the more I sweep the more dirt I will find.  I hear you scream out, “Why in the heck are you doing this?” while the wind whips around me depositing even more dirt.  But. I. Still. Sweep. And sweep.  And sweep.  I can’t stop.  The broom keeps moving and my hands are glued to it.  I can’t even look up to take a breath.  I. Must. Sweep.

There are no remedies to these problems.  There are no cure-alls.  There is just coping.  Getting through.  Today I would like to let you in on a few of my getting throughs.

Please let me start by explaining there are many medications that can help with the chemical imbalances that occur with PTSD, anxiety, and depression.  My body just doesn’t play well with any of them.  For those they work for, Praise God!  I am so excited for you. I have family and friends who find help in this area.

When I finally figured out meds were not for me, I reached out to others.  I prayed so hard for God to just take it all away. He chose to send me some help instead.  He put people in my life who understood.  People I could turn to in the darkness, who would hold my hand and walk with me. They became lights in my darkness.

I appreciate those people more than they will ever know or understand.  I know I can text and call them at the drop of a hat and they are there. But I didn’t want to always be dependent on them.  That is when God stepped in and said, “Let there be light!”

My light came in the form of four big paws and a very wet nose.  He, like me, ​had gone through some very unpleasant things in his life and was looking for just the right person to love him.

To learn more of my story come back tomorrow.
Copyright © 2017 Tabetha Frick All Rights Reserved.

I am confident that I have no confidence! Or, do I?​

Judges 6: 12, 14 & 15

12When the angel of the Lord appeared to Gideon, he said, “The Lord is with you, mighty warrior.”

14The Lord turned to him and said, “Go in the strength you have and save Israel out of Midian’s hand. Am I not sending you?”

15“Pardon me, my lord,” Gideon replied, “but how can I save Israel? My clan is the weakest in Manasseh, and I am the least in my family.”

I have confidence in sunshine,
I have confidence in rain.
I have confidence that spring will come again!
Besides what you see I have confidence in not me.

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For those of you Sound of Music fans who were singing along above, I apologize for the word change.  But I have to tell you confidence is not a close friend of mine.  I am so glad the bible is filled with not-so-confident characters to help me not feel alone.

One of my favorite Bible stories, when I was little, was about a man who had very little confidence.  As a matter of fact from the world’s point of view, he really didn’t have much to be confident of according to the bible.  This man described himself like this, “Look at me. My clan’s the weakest in Manasseh and I’m the runt of the litter.”

You can read the whole story in Judges chapters 6 through 8.  But for now, let me give you a little taste.

The Israelites had messed up yet again and turned back to doing evil in God’s sight.  So, he turned them over to Midianites who were very cruel to them.  They would march into their land and destroy everything. So the Israelites made hideouts in the caves of the surrounding mountains.   After being reduced to grinding poverty they finally cried out to God for help.

So, who does God send but Gideon the man of the weakest clan and the runt of the litter!  As a matter of fact, poor Gideon has such little confidence about anything he asked God for signs just to make sure he was hearing him correctly.

Oh, and to add insult to injury. Gideon was just finally finding a little confidence and sure that he was supposed to go out and defeat those guys who eat nuts and bolts and drank motor oil for breakfast. God gave him stepped up and gave him the next part of his plan.  Gideon my man you are getting an army of just 300 men to fight along side you!  Oh, and by the way, for your weapons of choice you will get a torch, jar, and trumpet.

Yes, you read that correctly!  God not only chose what the world deemed as a wimp, but he gave him just 300 men to go fight a huge army of elite fighting machines with just a torch, jar, and trumpet.  Now doesn’t that just scream confidence builder! Personally, I think I just would have screamed.

Insert Tabetha now.  I lack confidence in my abilities all the time.  I am not confident about being a wife and mother.  I am so not confident in my writing or teaching.  I am so not confident in standing up in front of people and speaking.  Let me let you in on a little secret.  Confidence does not mean lack of fear. Confidence means you go through with the plan in spite of the fear.

Much like Sister Maria, Gideon had lots of concerns, questions, and fears, but he marched on.  He took those three hundred men and defeated that army of ninjas, without lifting a sword

So you see it is OK to have questions, concerns and even fears because…

Strength doesn’t lie in numbers.
Strength doesn’t lie in wealth,
Strength lies in nights of peaceful slumbers,
When you wake up, wake up! 
It’s healthy!
All I trust I leave my heart to,
All I trust becomes my own!
I have confidence in confidence alone.
Besides, which you see, I have confidence in me! 
(I Have Confidence by Richard Rodgers)
Copyright © 2017 Tabetha Frick All Rights Reserved.

Who Can Compete With Me?

Galatians 6:4

Each one should test their own actions. Then they can take pride in themselves alone, without comparing themselves to someone else 

John Lennon sang a song called Imagine.  In one of the verses, he sings:

Imagine there’s no countries
It isn’t hard to do
Nothing to kill or die for
And no religion too
Imagine all the people living life in peace, you

Basically, he is saying what if we could get rid of all of our differences and have no competition. Now, he also goes on to say he realizes he is just a dreamer, but he hopes more people have this dream too.

Competition and differences are a part of life.  As you read this, I am competing for your time.  I mean there are million other things you could be doing, right?

So what does the bible say about competing or competition? Well I found a couple of references

1 Corinthians 9:25
Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last, but we do it to get a crown that will last forever.

2 Timothy 2:5
Similarly, anyone who competes as an athlete does not receive the victor’s crown except by competing according to the rules.

and then there, of course, are some on running a race

2 Timothy 4:7
I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith.

1 Corinthians 9:24
Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize.

Then there is my favorite

Hebrews 12:1
Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us

I love this verse because for me one of the biggest hinders is the competition itself.  I want to compare myself to everyone around me.

I was a marathon runner and one thing I learned early on was to quit comparing myself to everyone else and work on my own personal best.  When I concentrated on what everyone else around me was doing I would just get frustrated and angry because I couldn’t match their abilities.  When I concentrated on competing with myself I would find victories over time I ran just a little faster or longer.

My competing with everyone around me became a hindrance that led to a sin of jealousy and envy.  I began to get angry and others.  It is so easy to fall into that entanglement and the world does not help with this.  Just turn on the TV, log on to social media or open a magazine and you will see some beautiful woman who has it all together.  All of a sudden you look at yourself and you are too short, too tall, too fat, too thin. Your kids aren’t perfect enough.  Your spouse doesn’t love you enough.  Your house isn’t fancy and way too messy. You need more money for a new car or fancy vacation. There are millions of other comparisons you can make.

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Let’s take a moment with John Lennon and imagine there is a place where we don’t compare ourselves to others.  Instead, we just work on competing with ourselves.  We take each day to make it a little brighter than the day before.  We move a few steps closer to a goal we have set.  We celebrate our victories each night when we realize even if the day wasn’t perfect, we survived it and are going to get up tomorrow and try again.

Let’s test our own actions. Then we can take pride in ourselves alone, without comparing ourselves to someone else. (Galatians 6:4) 

We haven’t finished the race, but we haven’t quit either. That is a victory worth celebrating!
Copyright © 2017 Tabetha Frick All Rights Reserved.