She is Not Broken Anymore

I know I would normally blog about some experience I am going through and then tie it all nice and neat up with a bow to a bible verse.  However, tonight is going to be a little different.  A bible study of verses in I Peter, in the Message version of the bible, spoke to me.  I really think they speak for themselves and need no wrapping paper or bows.

Since Jesus went through everything you’re going through and more, learn to think like him. Think of your sufferings as a weaning from that old sinful habit of always expecting to get your own way. Then you’ll be able to live out your days free to pursue what God wants instead of being tyrannized by what you want.

Friends, when life gets really difficult, don’t jump to the conclusion that God isn’t on the job. Instead, be glad that you are in the very thick of what Christ experienced. This is a spiritual refining process, with glory just around the corner.

So if you find life difficult because you’re doing what God said, take it in stride. Trust him. He knows what he’s doing, and he’ll keep on doing it.

1 Peter 4:1-2, 12-13 & 19 The Message

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Copyright © 2018 Tabetha Frick All Rights Reserved.

Thank You for Traveling that Road

Philippians 1:6
Being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.

No one’s life is all rainbows and unicorns. We all face painful moments that rock out entire world in a matter of seconds.

These moments will change you forever. So let them change you for the good.  Let them make you smarter, stronger, and grace filled. 

Through these times of trials and tribulations you just might be molding into the person God is preparing as the answer to someone’s prayer. Someone is going to need your wisdom, knowledge and most important empathy when they travel the road behind you.

Right now you may not see the end of the tunnel, but I know the LORD can. He is right next to you every step breathing life into your present and future. He is shining HIS light in the darkest places. Hold on tight. 

He is NOT going to leave you or forsake you. His grip is very tight and He will not drop you. No uncertainty, no broken dreams, and NO FEAR can keep you from Him.

Kick, scream, cry, throw a tantrum if you must. But then straighten your crown, remind Satan just who you are and keep moving.

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Copyright © 2018 Tabetha Frick All Rights Reserved.

You Must Step into Freedom

Galatians 5:1
It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let ourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery.

I sat there reliving the moment over and over again. I felt the guilt and anguish. I had really screwed up! I had let my anger get the best of me and I had lashed out at my son, again!

It wasn’t the first time and I am ashamed to say it wasn’t the last either.

When my kids were growing up, I had no idea I had PTSD. I was diagnosed with depression, anxiety and even bipolar disorder, but no one had even thought of non-combat PTSD.

Non-combat. What does that even mean? It is another label they put on me to let others know that although I have PTSD, it isn’t military related.  To us with PTSD, that label has no meaning. We all know the trauma we went through and how it affects each and every one of us. 

Most importantly, we know the guilt we carry around because of it.

When the battle is over and the smoke clears, I see the damage I have done.  I see the casualties of my sickness. I have to pick up the pieces and try to put them together again.

You don’t have to have PTSD to have these feelings. Any argument can leave you with feelings of guilt. Feelings of would of, could of and should of. It doesn’t matter who was right or who was wrong. The damage is done and no one wins.

Later, as you do pick up those pieces and the mending process starts, the guilt never seems to leave.  Oh, it goes away for awhile. But then you are laying there in bed and the darkness creeps in around you. It whispers how wrong you were. 

How could you have done that!

No one will ever really forgive you for that!

You are the worst person ever!

You don’t deserve to be forgiven!

You are so stupid!

These words are NOT from God!

Let me repeat that…THESE. WORDS. ARE. NOT. FROM. GOD!

Christ draws us closer to him through conviction. The Holy Spirit prompts us to make corrections in our life. Condemnation brings only darkness into our lives leaving us with more problems and no solutions.

Christ came to set us free from condemnation. He knew we were going to have “those days.” He knew we were going to face “those issues.” He also knew we wouldn’t always choose the right way to handle them. He came so we wouldn’t be held captive by our bad choices forever. We would have freedom to stand up, dust ourselves off and try again. 

Our past is a chance for a teaching moment, it should not be a punishment moment. Discipline comes with love, mercy and grace. Punishment comes with hate, evil and condemnation.

It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let ourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery (Galatians 5:1). Learn from your mistakes and move on. Don’t live as a slave to them for the rest of your life. Christ has opened the door of your cell, but you have to step out into the sunshine.

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Copyright © 2018 Tabetha Frick All Rights Reserved.

Feeling Guilty for Doing Right

Isaiah 26:3
You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast, because they trust in you.

I had to drive an hour and a half this morning to a meeting.  It was mostly interstate and the speed limit was 65.  I was doing 65.  I had my cruise control set.  People started passing me and I mean flying by me. I felt bad.

Yes, you read that right. I. Felt. Bad! I mean I felt guilty.  Like I was some how slowing them down or getting in their way.  

I contemplated speeding up and being like everyone else. Being part of the crowd.  Keeping up with everyone. Passing all the “slow” drivers like me. Making them get out of my way.

Then it hit me! I was feeling guilty for doing the right thing.  I was feeling bad because I wasn’t part of the crowd, doing what everyone else was doing. Doing what was really against the law.

OK, anyone else going huh? Why should I feel guilty?

Don’t for one minute think I am a driving saint! I don’t always obey the speed limit.  Today, however, I was and I couldn’t believe I felt guilty for doing the right thing.

Peer pressure is an awful thing and it doesn’t just happen to young people. It can happen to anyone at any age.  What it really boils down to is a pack of lies from the father of lies.  He is just trying to get into your head.  That old, “Did he really say you would die if you ate from that tree?!” 

LIES! LIES! LIES!

Keep steadfast! Don’t give in to the lies! You will find perfect peace when you hold on and trust the LORD!

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Copyright © 2018 Tabetha Frick All Rights Reserved.

Save Me from My Darkness

Romans 10:13 HCSB
For everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved. 

PTSD throws me back to the times and places of my attacks.  Not only do I feel emotionally and physically everything around me, I also hear everything that was happening then.  I smell everything just like it was. I can even taste the moment.  Everything in the here and now melts away and I am thrown back into that exact moment over and over again. I relive it like a nightmare that will not end.

As I sit in my pit of despair, when my PTSD has sent me over the edge and all I see is darkness all around, the old demons come back.  I can hear the laughter and hissing all around. I feel the inky darkness of evil overtaking me. Thoughts of self mutilation and even suicide become a familiar tune.

I have admitted these feelings to few people.  Only a couple of people in my life truly understand and have even walked these pathways too. As a matter of fact, this is the first time I have put these thoughts in writing.  My poetry is often dark and obscure, but I have never out and out talked about self mutilation and suicide.

I have done lots of research and ready many books on PTSD, as well as other mental disorders. For years my doctors thought I was bipolar. It took one doctor to finally look at me and hear my story to realize it was actually PTSD.

Recently, I picked up another book from an author not only spoke to me, but seemed to be walking right beside me. In the Middle of the Mess is Sheila Walsh’s story of her own fight with depression, including suicidal thoughts.

In one part of the book she was describing a particular night where she was fighting the darkness all around her.  Her experience was very similar to the one I described above.  She remembers calling out Romans 10:13

“I called that verse out loud and I believed it. I called on His name and believed Him. I had been saved from hell and into eternity ever since, as an eleven-year-old girl, I accepted Jesus as my Savior. But that night I needed saving in the present, and I knew it. It wasn’t that I needed to become a Christian again; instead, I needed the power of the living Word of God to save me from the present tormentors.”

I have been saved since I was seven years old.  I am a Pastor’s wife and have been in church all my life.  I have heard or read that verse millions of times, but never like this.  I have always read it as part of the salvation road or Roman’s Road as we always called it.  I never looked at it in present tense.  I called out and the LORD saved me.

In the middle of my darkest times, I call out and the LORD saves me.

I don’t know what you are going through right now or what you may be facing tomorrow.  I do know that everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.  This does not just mean salvation from your sins when you become a Christian.  You will be saved from your circumstances. I don’t know how. I don’t know when, but I know the LORD will save you! So hang in and repeat this with me and keep repeating it until you believe it!

For everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved. Romans 10:13

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Copyright © 2018 Tabetha Frick All Rights Reserved.

You Are Guac!

Psalms 139:13-14
For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.

I recently read a story about a speaker who stepped out on stage and pulled a $100 bill out of his pocket.  He asked the audience, “Who would like to have this $100 bill?” Hands shot up all over.

He then took the bill and crumpled it up, threw it on the ground, stomped on it and got it all dirty and nasty.  Once again, he asked the audience, “Who would like to have this $100 bill?” Again, the same hands shot up all over the place.

The speaker when on to explain this is why God still wants you! It doesn’t matter how beat up, tore up, dirty or crumpled you are, He still sees your worth! Just like no matter what is done to that $100 bill, nothing changes its worth. Nothing will ever change our worth to God!

If someone hasn’t told you today, you should know you are fearfully and WONDERFULLY made and God makes WONDERFUL things. I guarantee in God’s eyes you are the guacamole NOT the salsa!

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Copyright © 2018 Tabetha Frick All Rights Reserved.

Hold My Hand

Isaiah 41:13
I am the Lord your God who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, “Do not fear. I will help you.”

I am not one to repost someone else’s blog, but I was struggling all day with exactly what to say and how to say it.  I knew what I wanted to talk about today, but the words just were not coming together.

Then I sat down to check my email and here was a blog from Jill Savage expressing just what I was feeling. I couldn’t say it any better, so I decided to pass it on.

The nurse walked into my room and said, “Jill it’s time to go. You’ll need to leave your glasses here.” Mark prayed for me, gave me a kiss and then waved as the nurse wheeled me out of my room towards my lumpectomy surgery. Without my glasses I can’t see much so the feeling of being disoriented seemed to heighten the emotion of the moment.

That’s when the words of Isaiah 41:13 flooded into my mind. “I am the Lord your God who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, “Do not fear. I will help you.”

God settled my heart with just a few words…just a few of HIS words, that is.

My surgeon prays for her patients before surgery. She had no idea the implication it had for me when she stopped in the presurgical area, held my RIGHT hand, and prayed for me.  Coincidence?  I think not.

This verse stuck with me through all my dark seasons: my husband’s infidelity, my breast cancer diagnosis, our adopted son’s mental illness and suicide attempts.

Today I’m prompted to share it with you because if you don’t need it today, you will need at some point in time. Real life is messy.  We need God’s word to anchor our soul when the waves of real life seem to be tossing us around.

Whatever you’re facing today…He’s holding your hand.

The post He’s Holding Your Hand appeared first on Jill Savage.

 

The Wrong Side of the Bed

Colossians 4:5-6 
Be wise in the way you act toward outsiders; make the most of every opportunity. Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.

Boy did I wake up on the wrong side of the bed!

I actually considered crawling back in and getting out on the other side…hahaha!

My poor husband. I was neither wise in my actions, nor were my words seasoned or full of grace. As a matter of fact, I felt so badly that I arranged to have lunch with him to refresh our day. I am happy to report that it did.

We all have those days. Maybe something went wrong to throw your day off. Maybe you didn’t sleep well or woke up sick. It doesn’t matter what started it. It is how you finish it.

I know taking words back is like putting toothpaste back in the tube. If like me, you let things get out of control before you could get a hold of them, then make up for it. I know this isn’t always possible, but try. 

Whenever possible, be wise in the way you act toward outsiders; make the most of every opportunity. Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone (Colossians 4:5-6). But when it is not and the damage is done please remember foolish people laugh at making things right when they sin. But honest people try to do the right thing (Proverbs 14:9, NIRV).

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Copyright © 2018 Tabetha Frick All Rights Reserved.

Cuss, Cry, Cringe or Thank God

Philippians 1:6
Being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.

It was a really long day! I was feeling a little overwhelmed. It seemed everyone needed me at the same time today and there just wasn’t enough of me to go around.

I still had several more things to accomplish once I got home, but I was excited because at least I was leaving work and headed that way!

Then I came to my “favorite” road home…the one with the railroad tracks!

Yep! You guessed it there was a train on the track. It was going really slow. As a matter of fact, it stopped and went the other way and then stopped again and came back.

What did I do? Do I scream (cuss)? Did I throw a tantrum (cry)? Did I give up and bang my head on my steering wheel (cringe)?

Nope!

I rolled down my windows. Turned off my car grabbed my phone to play some tunes and a book to read. I laid back and thought, “Wow! Time for me!” (Thanked God!)

I would love to tell you this is always my reaction when life throws something in my way. If I did, I would be lying through my teeth!

Patience has not and is not always my friend. However, there are sometimes I just have to find the silver lining! Today was one of those days. I mean seriously, how many times do you get to just kick back and read a book when you have a million other things to do. I had an excuse and everything! I was going to take full advantage of this!

Let’s be real here. Even the most organized list maker and planner is going to face obstacles though out the day. Now, I am not saying throw all the plans out, but how about we start looking at is as an outline of possibilities for the day. Then let’s just sit back and see what gifts God has to offer us for the day! Maybe you will be lucky enough to get a train to help you stop and relax too!

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Copyright © 2018 Tabetha Frick All Rights Reserved.

I Need A Hero!

Isaiah 1:17 
Learn to do right; seek justice. 
Defend the oppressed. 
Take up the cause of the fatherless; 
plead the case of the widow.

I don’t care if you are Team Marvel or Team DC.  In this day and age, we are all looking for a superhero! There is so much destruction around us. You can’t turn on the TV, read a newspaper of even check your social media without being pounded with bad news from around the world.

I woke up this morning and in my devotion I stumbled up the Isiah 1:17. As I read this verse, Do Something from Matthew West popped into my head.

I woke up this morning
Saw a world full of trouble now, thought
How’d we ever get so far down, and
How’s it ever gonna turn around
So I turned my eyes to Heaven
I thought, “God, why don’t You do something?”
Well, I just couldn’t bear the thought of
People living in poverty
Children sold into slavery
The thought disgusted me
So, I shook my fist at Heaven
Said, “God, why don’t You do something?”
He said, “I did, yeah, I created you” (now listen)

If not us, then who
If not me and you
Right now, it’s time for us to do something, yeah
If not now, then when
Will we see an end
To all this pain
Oh, it’s not enough to do nothing
It’s time for us to do something

I laughed because I couldn’t help but look in the mirror and see my lightening bolt across my chest (Yes, I am Team DC, but I still love me some Marvel)! I quickly put my hands on my hips and recited “God created me!”

I don’t need to look for a hero. God created me.  Not only that he armed me!

I recently heard a lady tell a room full of women, “Jesus is our shield and our rock! We can defend off those pesky little darts Satan is throwing at us.  But don’t you ever forget you also have a ROCK to throw right back at him!”

So, go ahead! Take the Superhero Stance! Recite after me! “I am a Superhero! God created ME!”

 

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Copyright © 2018 Tabetha Frick All Rights Reserved.