Category: Devotions

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Darkness to Light

Isaiah 41:13 (NIV)

For I am the Lord your God
who takes hold of your right hand
and says to you, Do not fear;
I will help you.

I promise this devotion is filled with hope and light, but to get there you must travel through my darkness.  Many years ago I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder which brings with it much panic, anxiety, depression, and mania.  As a matter of fact, in more recent years I was told I was diagnosed incorrectly and it is more likely PTSD.

Which ever label you want to give it, there are moments where the darkness attempts to engulf me.  If you suffer from any of these, I urge to reach out to someone.  Do not let go!  It is not the end!  You are not alone!

We are many and God knows each one of us by name.  He has not forgotten or forsaken us.  He is there in the midst of every second of our fight.  He is battling in places we can’t even see and doing things we can’t even imagine.

When the darkness comes and threatens to extinguish all the light around me, I often turn to writing poetry to describe what I am feeling.  The feelings seem so real at the time; I draw pictures in my mind.  The following is an example of my darkness.

The End?

I am spiraling down the hole.
I grasp and grab but nothing is there.
Air slides through my fingers
All is dark, no light at all
When will this end?

I am afraid of hitting bottom
But anything is better than this
The deep depression of unknown
The anxiety, the panic
Will this never end?

What will I find at the bottom?
What is waiting for me there?
Will I die if I reach it?
Will there be an escape?
Do I want to see the end?

I feel so alone
I feel like an idiot
I am out of control
I should have control
Please let this end!

I see how you look at me
I see the anger and disappointment
You think I am making this up
Just looking for attention
This is not what I want in the end

My heart is heavy
My head hangs low
I want to give up
I want to stop trying
I want this to be the end

So, why do I fight?
Why do I care?
Wouldn’t it be just easier to say I am done
It is finished
Now leave me to the end

Yet, I cannot
I am not finished
There is so much more to do
I must continue
I must fight until the end

How do I know God is there?  I know because in that dark cavern when I am ready to just lay down and not get up again there is a small quiet voice.  It just repeats, “I AM here, now fight!”  It starts as the dimmest of light. I can barely see if flickering far off, but it grows each time I focus and listen. It grows louder, brighter, stronger. Its name is Hope and it is hand delivered by I AM.

Isaiah 41:13 (NIV)

For I am the Lord your God
who takes hold of your right hand
and says to you, Do not fear;
I will help you.


Copyright © 2017 Tabetha Frick All Rights Reserved.

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Deeply Distressed and Troubled

Mark 14:12 (NIV)

“Abba, Father,” he said, “everything is possible for you.  Take this cup from me.  Yet not what I will, but what you will.”

Do you hear that?  Yep, it is my knees knocking AGAIN!  I have been in the education field for going on 18 years.  However, when I have to stand up in front of a group of people I still get the proverbial butterflies (seems more like bats) in my tummy.  My hands get all sweaty, my stomach turns, my heart races and then there is the shaking all over.

Have you ever been there?  Do you ever get a case of the nerves?  Maybe it isn’t public speaking that makes you want to run.  Maybe there is something else that can rock your world in a matter of 2.2 seconds.  Whatever it is, I want you to know…it is normal!  You are not going to die of a heart attack, you probably won’t even throw up or faint or anything. Hmmm, maybe I shouldn’t promise the last two, although I did say probably;0)

Can I tell you a little secret?  Did you know that Jesus got a case of the nerves? No, really!  It says right in Mark 14:33-34.

He (Jesus) took Peter, James, and John along with him, and he began to be deeply distressed and troubled. “My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death,” he said to them. “Stay here and keep watch (NIV).

If that doesn’t sound like a case of the nerves, I don’t know what does. Jesus knew his time was coming to an end.  He knew what he was going to face next.

Now, I realize what he was about to face: his betrayal, arrest, conviction, punishment, and death would certainly make anyone deeply distressed and troubled.  What I want you to realize is he didn’t stay that way.  He knew exactly where to turn.

“Abba, Father,” he said, “everything is possible for you. Take this cup from me. Yet not what I will, but what you will” Mark 14:12 (NIV).

When Jesus was deeply distressed and troubled he turned to the one person that he knew would pull him through, his Father, God!

I want to challenge you today.  No matter what impossible nerve racking, knee knocking deeply distressed and troubled problem you are facing, turn to the one who will walk you through it.

Cast your cares on the LORD and he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous be shaken. Psalms 55:22 (NIV)


Copyright © 2017 Tabetha Frick All Rights Reserved.

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Parts of the Whole

Deuteronomy 4:9 (NIV)
Only be careful, and watch yourselves closely so that you do not forget the things your eyes have seen or let them fade from your heart as long as you live. Teach them to your children and to their children after them.

When I look into the past I see many wonderful memories. I also see some not so wonderful memories. Things that I would rather forget. Like the time I was in the movie theater and my mom leaned over to ask me what time it was. I quickly glanced at my watch only to remember too late that was the hand I had my drink in. OK, now that I am giggling, maybe I do want to keep that one. But I guarantee there a lot more filled with pain, heartache, and tears that I would rather pull out of my head and throw in a bowl and lock away in a cupboard like Professor Dumbledore.

I also have a bunch of mixed memories. After 10 years of marriage, we called it quits. He had moved on to someone else and there was no fixing things. Now there are many moments right there I would rather forget, but what about all those pleasant memories I still carry of our marriage. I mean we did love each once. We also had three wonderful children together. I have many fond memories of birthdays, Christmases, vacations, and family fun nights, do I just throw them away too?

It becomes very tangled when you add to the story that I now have remarried and he brought with him two more children and a past life with another woman. We have made a bunch of new memories together. Do we just cut out our previous lives? Full confession moment, sometimes when I think of an old memory, I feel like I am cheating on my husband.

You may have not gotten a divorce, but you may have been a child of divorce. Or, you may have had other relationships like previous boyfriends or girlfriends, maybe even just an old friendship that ended. The point is we all have previous lives. No matter how embarrassing or hurtful these memories are, they are making you who you are right now.

These wonderful, beautiful pieces of history are teachable moments.

My father always taught me when you walk into a room full of people you will learn something from the smartest person and the dumbest. Well, I am telling you today do not forget the things your eyes have seen or let them fade from your heart as long as you live. Teach them to your children and to their children after them. We can all learn from the most favorable and even the not so favorable.
Copyright © 2017 Tabetha Frick All Rights Reserved.

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Overwhelming…Squirrel!

Psalms 29:11 (NIV)
The Lord gives strength to his people, the Lord blesses his people with peace.

I really just need to type today. My brain feels so full and yet I have nothing to say. Have you ever felt that way? A million words swarming in your head but none of them seem to go together. I almost want to just start pulling them out of my ear and throwing them in the air. See if I can make a sentence. At best I think I could come up with a fragment. Certainly not a complex sentence. String a few together and I might get an incoherent paragraph.

If I tried to draw a picture right now it would look a lot like The Scream by Munch but not so dark and desperate. Maybe it would look a lot more like The Starry Night by van Gogh. It would definitely be impressionistic with lots of color and swirls. Flowers, butterflies, and clouds would dot the canvas. Free spirits all of them in their own right.

These are the moments when I feel like the poster child for ADHD.com.  You know that moment when you feel so overwhelmed and you try to focus but then…SQUIRREL!  Only in my house instead of “Squirrel”, we say “Oh, shiny thing!”

I have a good friend who told me this is when she just wants to shut down and do nothing because she feels she can’t accomplish anything. Grab that remote jump on the couch and Netflix binge time here I come! Don’t judge, you know you have all been there just insert your own binge (food, shopping, Facebook, Pinterest, reading…).

Sometimes we may actually need that unwind time.  That pause from life, if you will.  However, we can’t let that pause turn into a STOP!  It is in those moments we cling to promises from God like today’s verse from Psalms 29.  “The Lord gives strength to his people, the Lord Blesses his people with peace.”

God, I need your strength to push on and your peace to help me focus through.  You know there are lots of squirrels and shiny objects out there, but I have life to attend to. I thank you for your promises of walking beside me and even carrying me when I need it. Most of all I thank you for that peace above our own understanding (Philippians 4:7) that will help quiet my mind and let me move on with my day.
Copyright © 2017 Tabetha Frick All Rights Reserved.

 

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I Will Write Nothing Today

Philippians 4:13 (NIV)
I can do all this through him who gives me strength.

It is a beautiful Saturday morning, the sun is out and the birds are chirping.  I mean it is truly picturesque!  I curl up in my favorite spot on the couch, sipping my hot tea, pen poised ever so ready. I ponder what kind of great wisdom I can bestow upon you today.  What do you need to hear from me (or read)?  What beautifully, eloquently chosen words should flow from my pen?  I sit and I wait and I ask God what can I tell you today.  Then I hear a resounding nothing!

No, I don’t mean I didn’t hear God say anything.  I mean I heard God say the word, “Nothing!”

I can’t tell you anything. I mean yes, right now, the sun is shining and the birds are chirping. But please, did I mention to see that the sun I had to look over the dirty dishes in the kitchen sink.  Yeah, the birds are chirping, but so is the traffic racing by my house.  Oh, and don’t get me started on that pile of dirty socks and undies calling my name, which is the real reason I am sitting here still in my pj’s if you know what I mean.

I can’t help you with your fears, doubts, hopelessness, anxiety or even your joys. Shoot, I struggle with all of those myself. But God can.  It isn’t my words you came here to read at this very moment.  It is God’s.  It just happens to be my pen (or actually a keyboard) He has chosen to use right now.

I have hopes and dreams just like you.  As a matter of fact…I am doing one of them right this very moment!  I want to write.  However, with all of my hopes and dreams come anxieties and fear and… ‘I cant’s!’

Maybe you have some ‘I can’ts’ too!  I can’t because I am too old.  I can’t because I am too young or too fat or too thin.  I can’t because I am not bold enough or educated enough.  Perhaps you have heard the I can’t because I don’t have enough money, energy or time.

Well, guess what you are 100% correct!  You can’t, but God can!  Furthermore, today He just may have chosen you to be his instrument of choice to deliver all those hopes and dreams.

The sooner we are willing to admit and accept the ‘I  can’t’ statements, we can let go and let God show us He can!

I am OK that I told you nothing today and I can’t write this.  I am glad God stepped in and did it instead.  I challenge you today to do nothing because you can’t!  Instead, let’s follow our verse today and do everything through Christ who strengthens us.  Let’s remember WE can’t, but GOD can!
Copyright © 2017 Tabetha Frick All Rights Reserved.

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Wanted for Getting Up and Going Out into the World!

 Psalm 23:4

New American Standard Bible (NASB)

Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
 I fear no evil, for You are with me;
Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.

     I recently discovered when you wake up and this is the first thing that pops into your mind…well…hang on!  You are in for an adventurous day!

Bill collector called because a payment that I made didn’t process correctly.  I got into a fight with my husband out of nowhere.  My kids were fighting over which last nerve they got to hit.  Oh, yeah and I almost got flattened twice.  Once by a semi and the other a huge truck.  Let me tell you they felt intentional.

Yep, I woke up and that put me on a wanted poster from Hell, literally!  Don’t get me wrong; I am glad Satan thinks I am such a threat right now, but wow!  My whole day when he would peek his evil little head up, I heard this verse in my head.  I realized my shadows of death can take many forms.  It isn’t just a physical death.  Satan is happiest with a spiritual death.

So, what is your shadow of death today?  What does your wanted poster from Hell say?  Don’t worry!  You don’t have to fear the shadow of death because God is there to go with you. Remember, when it looks totally dark this verse has a promise in it.  You are walking THROUGH the valley of the shadow of death.  You are not staying.  You and God are just passing through.   He has even packed along some comfort for your journey.  Enjoy your time together!   It will pass the time so much faster.

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A Shoulder To Cry On

Psalms 34:15 (NASB)
The eyes of the Lord are toward the righteous
And His ears are open to their cry.

Some days I just need a shoulder to cry on. I just need to know someone is there. I don’t need my problem fixed. I don’t need a white knight to come rescue me. I just need a quite place to regroup. I just need someone to love me.

I have fond memories of my Daddy picking me up and holding me. For those moments, there was no one else in the world but him and I. I knew there was nothing that would harm me or take me out of that place of peace and love right then.

Now, I am a little too big to run and have my Dad catch me or even curl up in his lap. But , I will never be to big to fall into his arms. I am grateful that my father is still with me. I am more grateful that my father has given me an example of what my Heavenly Father does.

I’ve been through a divorce. I’ve been jobless, homeless and sick. I have six children so there are many tears shed there. Through all of my trials in life I have felt times of peace. Notice I said times of peace, not peace all of the time. I felt that peace when I gave up my fight for a few minutes. I laid my weapons down. I went running Home. I jumped into my Father’s lap. He cradled me and I had a shoulder to cry on. Better yet, He also dusted me off and put me back on my path to continue on. He knows I don’t need Him to fix it. I don’t need Him to take it all away. Because if a an eagle never faces the edge of the nest, she will never learn to fly. But, when those storms hit it is always nice to have a nest to come and rest in for a moment.

Are you ready to let God be your nest today? You Daddy in Heaven is waiting with arms wide open. Why don’t you take a minute and jump in. After all, The eyes of the Lord are upon you and His ears are open to your cry.

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Faith, Hope, Believe and He will

Hebrews 11:1-2, 6(NASB)
1 Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen.
2 For by it the men of old gained approval.
6 And without faith it is impossible to please Him, for he who comes to God must believe that He is and that He is a rewarder of those who seek Him.
I grew up in church.  I have faithful parents who have spent a lot of time on their knees praying for me. Now I am a parent.  My children have grown up in church and I have worn out the knees of many good pants on my children.

I am a firm believer there is always hope.  I also know faith and hope work hand in hand. In order to have hope we must have faith and if you have faith you are hoping for something. To add to those words we use the word believe. To have faith and hope I must first believe in something.

Hebrews is asking us to believe, have faith and hope in the God and that He wants to reward us.  That is the part that always tripped me up.  I have no problem believing God could do whatever I needed.  I always struggled with would He.  This verse promises me He will!  He is a rewarder of those who seek Him.

So,the next time you find the doubts sneaking up on you when you pray, remember He wants to give you what you need. Hebrews says so and God never lies!

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Action Verbs for Anxiety

Psalms 27:14 (NASB)

Wait for the Lord;
Be strong and let your heart take courage;
Yes, wait for the Lord.

Have you ever been fidgety? You know when you are worried about something and you mumble (or scream) those famous words, “Well, I can’t just sit here and do nothing!” When that phrase reaches your mind and you know there is nothing you can do, take heart. You can take action. You should take action. You should:

Wait for the Lord;
Be strong and let your heart take courage;
Yes, wait for the Lord.

Wait-Be-Let-Take-Wait
These are action verbs. These are the actions you need to do when you are feeling anxious. This is what you have control over. This is doing your part.

I know it isn’t easy and I wish I could say, I am perfect and this works for me every time so you can do it too! But, I’m not an infomercial and this isn’t easy. Although if you do it, God promises it will work every time. You may not like the length of time it takes. Heck you may not even like the answer you get. However,God will reward you with what you need an He always sends His best for you.

So the next time you can’t stand it any longer. Please remember to take action.

Wait for the Lord;
Be strong and let your heart take courage;
Yes, wait for the Lord.

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Discipline in a Long- Distance Race

Hebrews 12:1-3 (MSG)

1 Do you see what this means– all these pioneers who blazed the way, all these veterans cheering us on? It means we’d better get on with it. Strip down, start running– and never quit! No extra spiritual fat, no parasitic sins.
2 Keep your eyes on Jesus, who both began and finished this race we’re in. Study how he did it. Because he never lost sight of where he was headed– that exhilarating finish in and with God– he could put up with anything along the way: cross, shame, whatever. And now he’s there, in the place of honor, right alongside God.
3 When you find yourselves flagging in your faith, go over that story again, item by item, that long litany of hostility he plowed through. That will shoot adrenaline into your souls!

Wow! I now have two half marathons under my belt. I guess, I should explain something. On December 26, 2011 I weighed 256 lbs. I was getting ready to turn 39 yrs old and I found an old bucket list. I wanted to run a marathon before I turned 40 years old. So, I started walking for 30 minutes and gradually learned to run for 30 minutes straight. My daughter found a marathon scheduled for October 7, 2012. We signed up! It is now August 11, 2012, I weigh 223 lbs and have ran a lot!

In the past few weeks I have ran two half marathons. OK, to be honest I have walked most of it, especially the last one. I injured my hip and my doctor will no let me run right now, so I walked 13.1 miles. It took me 3 hours and 45 minutes, but I did it. My daughter and I have this saying, “We run to complete, not compete.” So, when I read these verses they really stuck out to me.

Many people have gone on before me. They made it, I can too. This goes with my running and my life. There are so many times I just get frustrated and I want to quit. I don’t. I keep moving. I think of all my heroes. I think of how far I have come. In life, I think of all the things Jesus went through. All the stuff he had to put up with. He made it through. He never gave up. He asked God to put a stop to it, but he would continue on if it was God’s will. I can do that too. Why can I do it? Because Jesus has been there done that. More importantly, he is still going through it with me! If I suck it up and listen up, he will even tell me which steps to take. If I follow those steps, it may not be easy, but it will be easier!

I pass along a lot of advice I have learned on my exercise journey. I have found a lot of things that work and a lot more that don’t. Any time I can help someone else avoid a pitfall, I do. Jesus is here for us also. He doesn’t want us to fall. It isn’t enough for us to run the race we have to finish. Which brings me to another favorite saying, “Finishing dead last is better than not finishing at all, which always trumps never beginning!”